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Friday, 13 June 2014


Yep... I said it... and in big shouty caps lock with 3 exclamation points so you know I'm serious.

This has now been a personal bugbear of mine for at least a decade of tarot reading, so I've finally decided to get the rant out there. I do re-iterate at this point this that this is a personal bugbear and I'm not trying to slam other psychic professionals that use this term... just put across an alternative point of view.

The term "soulmate" originates with Plato who told us of a time when there were no "men" and "women", but when humans had 4 arms, 4 legs, 2 heads and both sets of genitalia. At this point humans started to get a bit unruly so Zeus stepped in, split them in half and doomed them to spend the rest of their existence seeking out their "other half".

That's right. The term actually started life as a curse upon all humanity, that actually excludes LGBT couples. Believe it or not, over the last millennia or so since then, it's evolved into meaning something different, but that in my opinion is just as bad.

"Soulmate", along with the more recent "Twin Flame" have become buzzwords in the psychic community. For more unscrupulous psychic professionals it's become a power play to draw in less confident  people for readings they wouldn't otherwise get.

You've all seen the, "Are they your true soulmate?" type advertising. Well unless you both used to be a two headed monster, no, you aren't!

I may be being a little unfair as the term has now evolved. It is now generally accepted to mean something along the lines of: The person you were destined to be with. It is used this way by many very good psychics and readers... However, I still hate it!

My first major issue with terms like this is that they imply a non-controllable destiny to be with this other person.  The problem here is what happens if over the course of a relationship someones partner turns into an absolute nightmare? If they've been having readings telling them they have a pre-ordained fate to be with this person forever, are they going to address those issues, or leave if things get really bad? The whole point of having a reading, (again this is my opinion, I'm not stating it as fact), is to get insight into situations to help you make decisions about your future, not to tell you X, Y & Z is destined to happen whether you like it or not.

The term also implies that there is one person out there to complete you as a person. Sorry, I just outright don't buy it! Human energy is such a diverse adaptable thing, that the thought you could only be happy with this one special person just seems ridiculous to me... plus what if they got hit by a bus before you met? Are you destined to wander the earth alone?

The other issue is that the terms have acquired a compulsory-requirement status. I've done countless readings that have started something along the lines of: "I've met this wonderful person, so I need to know if they're my soulmate."

I can not count the times this has made me want to slam my head into the table! All I want to do is tell them how awesome it is, that they should embrace this as a big adventure, that I hope that it grows into that magical point when you decide to love each other, let your lives and beings combine and spend your lives together. That I'll happily do a reading to give them insight into areas they naturally have in common, areas they need to work on and forewarning of any hiccups along the way... but if you've found someone that there's a chance of having that wonderful life changing relationship with you do not need to have a random buzzword applied to validate it!

I met my husband 3 years ago and we've been married for just under 2 months. There is no doubt in my mind he is the love of my life. I can't imagine how we would exist apart, and being together has changed us both, irrevocably, and in the most fantastic of ways. So I'm afraid the die-hard believers in "soulmates" will not be able to play the "oh you don't believe because you haven't met them" card.

I have met the person I'm going to be in love with for the rest of my existence... and I wouldn't cheapen that by referring to him with what has essentially become a marketing term.


  1. Well said. I have never believed in soulmates either. Years ago my husband had a brief affair with a woman who later turned stalkerish. Without going into details, she kept insisting she was his soulmate. It was quite the nightmare I can assure you.

    1. Yes I've heard stories of "soulmates" being used as an excuse for affairs too.

  2. I don't agree. Can we embrace the more mature, evolved definition of the term, please? I have a friend who died many years ago, still feel him around me when going through some tough times in my life. I most definitely call him a soul mate. Does that mean we were romantically linked and destined to skip down love's highway together? No, but it does mean we're connected and is there for me when I need him, even though he's dead. You can have more than one, and sometimes it means a family that understands you on a level others don't. It's not a bad thing.

    1. That's your personal definition of the term though. I understand that you feel that connection and how special it must be. But I have to wonder why you need the label it? If you personally feel that calling that connection a "soulmate" connection a comfort than that's great, and that's totally up to you personally. What the post is addressing is the use of the term on a mass scale.

  3. Notice when Plato speaks of the Mythology, which I believe always has some hidden truth there, he does not say "desire," or "human desire," but "love and friendship." I generally find those who speak of a soulmate connection as one full of "desire," and even pain.

    So perhaps there is another "part" of us, whom originally we came through with as a unit/one. For whatever reason we were split into "male or female. (Yin/Yang separation)." As we evolve, all parts of us unite.... we don't desire our self, as in "human desire," but loving self is surely a part of being whole... just a though.. :)