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Monday 31 October 2022

It's been a while...

The day feels somewhat low-key when I look back through the notifications from various apps showing me "On this day..." posts. From what used to be the culmination of weeks of work, to host all-night events, to now happily planning a day in quiet contemplation, taking a walk among falling leaves. From scrabbling with pumpkin carving, costumes and various family events, to a quick "I won't be too late!" as my youngest dashes out of the door with a black dress and witches hat to celebrate with friends right after college.

It seems so quiet... and that's not a bad thing.

Today has always been a day of reflection and hope for me. This year that seems more present than ever. Between this Samhain and next I have a heck of a milestone looming. Forty. I used to joke that I'd like to be retired by then, never thinking I actually would. However, it seems like it is set to become at least partially a reality. To my vast surprise, I've reached this point and realised that decision has actually very little to do with investments and future planning (although having built an income from my fave hobby rather than a "job" is a massive factor), and everything to do with feeling happy that I've done... enough.

My life has gone through a number of chapters, there was "pre-Lily", I got married young, had kids, had little focus on anything outside of that, and few friends. Then there was "Lily", I got away from my first husband and I built a life for me and the kids, I found this crazy bunch of people that loved the folklore and magic I had discovered, and I felt more myself than I ever had. Then there was "Gordon & Lily", well you all know about that love story, I thought this was going to be my final chapter, I was sure of it. Then there was what I'm now referring to as "lost-Lily", there is a very deep sense of misplacement in the world when you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having to outlive your happily-ever-after. Now, well now it feels like there's going to be something else, and I'm not sure what yet, but that's ok.

This afternoon I am going to visit a special little new woodland, next to a quiet little airfield in Northumberland. Then I'm going to come home, set up a simple little altar, open a brand new journal and plot the next phase. During the few years I was a little lost I started some projects that have run way overdue that need tying up. There are a few life-admin things I need to take care of, and a few debts I want to repay, more emotional ones than practical ones. This feels less like starting a new chapter and more like writing an ending whilst planning for an amazing sequel.


Looking down at the remnants of the wish cords I put around my wrist a year ago (both of which worked very well, lol), I am aware this year I don't have anything I feel like I need to cast for. It's been a running joke amongst friends that "It's fine!" has been my go-to catchphrase when faced with absolutely any disaster or chaos, but I now think it may have been an unintentional invocation. Despite everything I've come through to get here, it is "fine".

Assuming I get all my little loose ends tied up between this year and next, I'm not going to have a single plan, obligation or commitment that I have to do. It doesn't feel like an "achievement" because the gods know I did get here on my own, and I don't feel "lucky" because getting here nearly ended me more than once... I just feel happy, and hopeful, and I really want to see what happens next.

Happy Samhain.

Friday 4 September 2020

Pieces of You

 Pieces of You


Memory cards found on the floor,

Old mobile phones at the back of a draw,

Handwritten notes in past birthday cards,

I search the pockets of clothes that used to be yours,


Looking for things I've not seen before,

From years that have past, that I may have ignored,

Little pieces of you scattered around,

Little pieces of you waiting to be found,


I gave you back to the earth,

To the wind, to the sky,

Returned you to the Whole,

I said goodbye,


I imagined your soul spread across all the land,

Across oceans of water, across deserts of sand,

I thought there'd be comfort having you everywhere,

But I can't seem to stop wanting you here,


Now I'm constantly searching cupboards and draws,

For tatty photos dropped between the floorboards,

Trying to hold every memory of you,

Trying to collect all the little pieces of you.

Wednesday 11 July 2018

Tuesday 1 August 2017

Unintentional Ritual Objects

I remember many years ago, when I first started down this path, I collected many objects to use in ritual practice, candles, cauldrons, crystals, etc. Some of these items have fallen by the wayside, some of them have been used for years, but what strikes me today is that some of my most valuble are the ones I never intended to be ritual items at all.

Now I'd like to say I'm not a sentimental person... but that is a lie. My jewellery box still holds a blue plastic ring given to me by a boy when I was 8. However, what I'm talking about here goes deeper than that. It's fair to say that objects and places hold a certain type of energy when they are used for ritual practice... sometimes this happens without us even being aware of it. 

For me this hit home whilst stood in a camping shop looking at boots. I need a new pair, but it wasn't until that moment I realised why I really didn't want a new pair.

I bought my current pair of boots in 2009, and without realising it they've been the only consistant peice of ritual wear I've ever owned. I wore them to my first pagan gathering, my first group ritual, my first camp, to conduct my first ritual, to explore the spiritual landscape both locally and everywhere I went. I wore them the first time I met my husband, the first time my kids saw the summit of a mountain, the first time I saw the aurora. Yet here they were at the end of their practical life.

Now, yes, I will buy new boots. The old ones however will remain with the rest of the useless things I hold too dear to throw away or rehome. The situation however got me thinking. How thankful we should be that magic can find a home in the most unlikely of places, and how wonderful it is that we can so naturally place it there.

Happy Lughnasadh everyone. It is the start of the season of thanksgiving and harvest, sometimes we make stores for the dark days without even being aware of it, and recieve that energy back without even noticing, for that alone we are fortunate.

Tuesday 21 February 2017

Treatments and Readings: The Vault, 1st April 2017

On the 1st April I'll be heading to The Vault, Creative Well-Being Centre, as they've got an MBS Fair going on. I'll have a therapy room there where I'll be offering taster sessions and treatments. These are great ways to experience reiki, or get a tarot reading at a low price. Each appointment last 20 minutes, and will be priced at £12 each. I expect these appointments to go fast.

You will be able to choose from a tarot reading, either general or focusing on a specific part of your life, or a Meditative Reiki treatment, using exclusive meditations.

In order to make things easier on the day I am offering you guys the chance to book in advance, this will allow you to plan your day in advance, and I'm giving you a 10% discount on the pay-on-the-day price.

If you would like to take advantage of this offer please book your appointment using the payment button below. Your appointment will be confirmed via email and will be between 10:40am and 15:20pm.




Please note, once booked appointments are none refundable if you cancel within 48 hours of the event.